Like Joker and Harley Quinn
by EggrollEmpress
Summary: As much as many women deny it or try to avoid it...they all have a thing for bad boys. It's just worse when he's your nemesis, and you're a vigilante.
1. Chapter 1

**Like Joker and Harley Quinn**

**Disclaimer:** I don't make cool characters...I just kind of toggle with them in my own twisted stories...so hell no! I don't own Kick-Ass! ...It's just too 'kick-ass' for me to own...*cries*

* * *

Mindy stealthily crept away from the party into the suspicious room. She walked in and watched her back; she smiled remembering her first encounter with Dave when she forgot to check her six and her dad reminded her.

She examined the surprisingly spacious room. Diverse ornaments hung on the wall, and floor mats and cushions scattered the floor. She stepped farther into the room, she knew that Red Mist or The Motherfucker had to still be lurking around the city.

Crazy doesn't just stop, and Chris was crazy. She _knew _Chris was crazy, she couldn't comprehend why Marcus would believe him for a second and go to the "charity ball" Chris was holding, drag her along in a fancy dress nonetheless.

She approached a bare wall and tapped at certain angles, it was hollow. She applied a small amount of pressure and the door cracked open. Mindy grinned, pushing the door open, checking her back, and stepped in. Motion detector lights flicked on farther into the room, on a wall was the costume of Red Mist.

"Called it." Mindy breathed.

She snapped a picture and hurried out of the room. She carefully closed the doors and she heard expensive leather shoes tapping the marble floor, he cleared his throat.

Mindy was frozen for a millisecond in fear, slowly turning mostly expecting Marcus to be there to reprimand her.

"Well, well Mindy."

She sighed, "Chris."

"Hnn." he stuffed his hands in his pockets and approached nonchalantly, with a whoosh the only exit in the room snapped shut. Mindy rolled her eyes and pulled her switchblade out, he smiled, "You know, I've always wondered where you pull all your weapons from."

He gestured to her red gown, a slit from her waist to the floor exposed her left leg, it clung to her curves and was strapless, where she stored the blade was a magic trick all in itself.

"What do you want?" she growled.

He looked at her with a cocky smirk, "Isn't it obvious?"

"How about you clear the air, Red Mist, The Motherfucker, or whatever douche names you came up with." she spat.

He laughed, "I only fuck mothers when they beg. Besides, I thought you were smarter than that, Hit Girl. Although," he eyed her up and down, "You've filled out, so maybe that's Hit Woman?"

Mindy rolled her eyes, "Shut up."

They had been circling each other around the room, Mindy with her blade, Chris with his hands in his pockets. He took a step forward, Mindy exhaled, "Don't move any closer, what do you want?"

He shrugged, "Like I said, isn't it obvious?"

He took another step, not to back down from a challenge like a coward, she stepped forward too, "I'm not in the mood for games, D'Amico."

Chris stood still, he ran a hand though his hair, and smirked at her, "It's pretty obvious that what I want, is…you." he charged her with surprising speed and she attempted to dodge him but he had her in a vice grip.

She wriggled enough, blade still in hand, she snarled, "Let me go! You douche bag!"

He laughed and didn't relent, she tried to kick him, but he moved before impact, "You know I could kill you." she threatened, and he gave her a knowing look, "Oh yes, with your little blade."

She readied her blade at a kill point, "Do it," he said and shook her, "Don't hesitate, what would Daddy want? Or Marcus?" she gripped the knife tighter at the mention of her father, but loosened the grip at the mention of Marcus, he wouldn't want her to do that, he was probably pissed that she ran off in the first place.

Mindy lowered her blade, and Chris smirked, "Good, I mean that would look pretty bad, the host of a charity ball stabbed to death in his home."

"Shut up!" she glared, "Let go, now."

Chris pulled the blade from her hand and tossed it aside. "Nah." She wriggled and attempted to fight him, but he restrained her, "Look at you! The Hit Girl! Not even hitting me!" he taunted.

He squeezed her body flush against his, her curves aligning against him, a gasp escaped her mouth. He nuzzled her neck, "Didn't know you'd be so responsive."

She wriggled some more, and he groaned as she rubbed against him, "Okay stop, I get it. This is such a funny joke, hah hah." she gasped again when he began to kiss her neck, "Chris!"

He grunted, "Why don't you call me Red Mist? Or The Motherfucker? You know, my douche aliases?" her hands made their way up to his shoulders and started to push him, but ended up pulling him back when he reached a sensitive spot.

"Wh-what are you doing? STOP." Chris let go and turned away, he ran a hand through his hair as he listened to Mindy's breathing return to normal.

"You've got some nerve, fucktard!"

Chris straightened, and she paused, "Just wait 'til Dave finds out, we're going to kick your ass!"

He turned to her with a challenging look, "Really? Dave? You said you could kill me, but you didn't. So why don't you just kick my ass right now, by yourself?"

She crossed her arms, succeeding in squishing her breasts, "It'll be fun tag-teaming."

Chris diverted his gaze from her chest, "Isn't he too busy to play trivial games like 'Cops and Robbers'?"

"And you aren't?" she smirked.

He shrugged and turned, he began walking away when she called out to him, "Where do you think you're going? Douche'Ico! Get back here!"

Within a second they were flush against each other once more, and he had Mindy pressed up against the wall. She let out the breath she was holding and he breathed against her neck. Her hands were at his shoulders and his hands gripped her waist, "Well, I'm here. What are you going to do about it?"

He began kissing his way up her neck, and he planted a kiss on her mouth, her eyes widened in surprise. She complied after a few minutes, Mindy trailed her hands up to his hair, and pulled him even closer. After a while, he ran his tongue against her lips, before she agreed he jammed his tongue through, she almost bit him but didn't.

As their tongues battled, he let his hand slide over her creamy exposed thigh. She stopped and shoved his hand away. Chris watched her, before she pushed him onto one of his chairs.

"If that's how you want to play.." she said as she straddled him, he groaned as she rested on his strained erection. Mindy pulled him in for a kiss, and Chris started to slide his hand up her thigh, he reached a little past the edge of the slit before she swatted his hand again.

"No touching." she smirked, and Chris growled. His knuckles whitened at their grip on the arm rests, she gripped his hair and tugged him into a kiss. Before long her hands trailed to his chest, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Her hands exposed his lean chest, he growled when she shifted her weight, he couldn't take it anymore.

He grabbed her by the thighs and reversed their positions on the cushions. He held her in place with a hand on either side of her waist. Mindy's breathing was ragged from the energy exerted, but as she was about to pull him into another tongue session, he stood up.

He rubbed his face and looked at his handiwork, a disheveled Mindy, their lips puffy. She looked up at him with a mix of confusion, and he could guess she was thinking, _what the fuck man._

Chris buttoned his shirt and straightened his tie, before turning away from Mindy and thinking of something to kill his boner. The thought of his dad in that leopard Speedo at the beach usually did the trick, it worked. He turned back to Mindy and she had straightened herself and retrieved her switch blade.

She approached him, pulled him into a deep kiss and he couldn't resist but flick his tongue in, she pulled away as quickly as they started and slapped him hard.

He rubbed his cheek and looked at her, she was fuming, "What's up your ass?"

"Oh fuck you. If anyone has anything up their ass, it's you. Why the hell would you do that?" he fixed himself once more, smoothing his hair back with style, "Do what? Do you mean why would _we _do that?"

She shoved him against the wall, and he smirked, "Listen Mindy, if you want to continue this, we can, later. But I have to get back to my party before people notice I'm gone." he winked, and she stood in his way, "You didn't answer me. Don't be a dick, you don't just rub up against your enemies!

"Yeah Hit Girl, you don't just rub up against your enemies." he mimicked, and she pressed him against the wall, "Don't even, you're still on my hit list, Red Mist, Cocksucker, whatever your name is. So why were you feeling me up?!"

He snorted, "You're so punny. And you shouldn't be asking me those questions, I mean you did your own fair share of feeling me up." she tried a new tactic, she pressed herself against him and trailed her way up his chest, his breath paused.

She smiled, "Oh so this is just a quick release to you?"

He blinked, and some of his original innocence sparked, he sounded like the Chris prior to Kick Ass, the one trying to get his dad's approval, "No no! It's not like that!"

"Right.." she pecked him on the lips. His cockiness returned, "So, you want to finish this later or what? I'm a busy man."

She stepped back and shook her head, "No way!" she said half-heartedly.

Chris had no doubt she was lying, and shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged, "Sure, I mean, whatever you say." he walked away and Mindy stopped him, "What?"

He turned back and raised his hands in defense, "I mean, whatever floats your boat. Give it a bit, you'll want me Mindy." he turned and walked to the exit, a smirk plastered to his face as she called out, "I doubt that!"

He rolled his eyes and opened the door, Chris flashed a wink and walked away, he managed to catch her blush. _'Women,' _he thought, _'You can always keep them guessing.'_

* * *

Mindy heaved a sigh and walked out of the door and crept to an inconspicuous spot in the crowd, praying Marcus didn't notice her. She was tapped on the shoulder, and Marcus gave her a look, "Mindy."

She smiled sweetly up at him, "Marcus."

He rubbed his face, and she whispered, "I have proof this time."

"Right." She pulled out her phone and showed him the costume, he sighed, "We'll talk about this later."

Just then Chris took a stand at the podium, a glass was in his hand, "This is a great turnout! The reservation list tells me we have at least three hundred people here tonight. So by tomorrow I will have donated three hundred thousand dollars to various charity organizations."

A tipsy man in the crowd called out, "Proceed to partyy! Red Solo Cup!"

Chris laughed and took his cue down into the crowd. The DJ continued his set, after a few club songs a slower one started. Mindy was fiddling with her phone when someone grabbed her from behind, her dad's voice rang through her head, _'Now Hit-Girl, we always keep our backs where?' 'To the wall Daddy, I know. Um, it... it won't happen again. Nice shot, by the way.' 'Thank you.'_

His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, "Hn, photographing my suit, well my old one anyway."

She glared at the picture, "Shut it, Red Mist."

Chris snatched her phone and shoved it into his pocket, she whipped around and he deflected her slap by grabbing her hand and proceeded to dance with her.

"Ah ah," he taunted, "You can have that later." She glared at him, "Later as in now."

Chris made a face and smirked, "Hmm, nah. Later as in we can finish what we started and then you can have this back."

"I said-" she fumed, and began to speak but he pulled her close, pressing her against him, "Feel familiar?" he whispered.

"Stop! People will see!" she whispered back, with venom.

"So? Who cares?"

Mindy nearly shrieked, "I care! I don't want Marcus or Dave to see me like this!"

She looked around frantically, afraid she might make eye contact with either of them, Chris raised a brow at her exasperated face, "Ooh, Dave..you like him don't you?"

Her face converted to revulsion, "God no! He's like an older brother, his creepy friend bothers me too."

"Right…he likes you. Probably in his own nerdy ass way." Chris snorted.

Mindy's eyes widened in agreement, "Oh, I _know_. He always tells me what Dave does with what's-her-face. He's even obsessed with Hit Girl, he tells me that he would do me, but he wants to do Hit Girl even more."

"Haha! You have a creepy admirer! So does the creep even have a name?" Chris laughed at her expense.

Mindy scowled, then she smirked up at Chris, "Oh yeah? What does that make you, dick wad?"

He shrugged casually, "Sexual release, obviously."

Mindy felt the need to gag, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. In all honesty he was correct, after all he was much more attractive than one of Dave's creepy friends. Not that she would admit it out loud, an eighteen year old has her pride, but her prolonged silence indicated agreement.

"Heh," he smirked, "Told you."

She rolled her eyes, "Shut up Gaylord, what's in it for you?"

He cocked his head, "I knew you wanted me-"

She interrupted, "This is hypothetical, dumbass."

Chris continued, "And I've noticed that you enjoy using dirty words…" he leaned in and whispered into her ear, "Well, the benefits are me pounding your sopping cunt with my thick, hard cock. How does that sound?"

Mindy swallowed, how that got her going was a shock all in itself, after a few moments she spoke up, "When is this happening?" she refrained from profanity when he just smirked at her, "Don't worry about it."

She cursed in her head, _'Motherfucker, you don't keep me waiting. Stupid fucking rich kid.'_ as she thought this, Mindy rested her head on his shoulder. Chris looked down with a look of content surprise followed by smugness.

* * *

From a distance, Dave stood with Marcus. Dave gestured, "You see that?"

Marcus nodded and then shook his head in disappointment, "Girl's gone crazy."

Dave nodded, "Cray cray fosho." Marcus looked at him, "…Shut up Dave, maybe she's getting intel." They watched Chris lean and whisper into Mindy's ear, what they thought was intel was really just descriptive hypothetical scenarios.

Dave turned to Marcus, "Should we, you know, intervene?"

Marcus shook his head, "Nah man, I'll talk to her later."

Just then the song ended, and the couple reluctantly released their hold on one another. More club songs played, and as Marcus blinked he lost sight of Mindy and D'Amico.

"The hell?" They had snuck off to a darker corner where they proceeded to grind in privacy.

* * *

_On my waist…through my hair…think about it when you touch me there…Close my eyes…here we are all alone..Dancin' in the dark..Tell me baby..if it's wrong…to let my hands do what they want…late at night..and you turn me on…Dancin' in the dark…_

They grinded, if someone passed they must've believed someone was scoring. Chris clenched his hands on Mindy's waist, they started off with rhythm, but they became more frantic. It was almost as if she was getting anal rather than provocatively dancing…with an enemy no less.

_Wanna see who you are..gotta sex drive just push to start._

After a few minutes the song ended, and Mindy leaned back against Chris, they relaxed as they caught their breath.

"Chris.."

"What?"

"Listen fuckface," Mindy regained her composure, "Why are you doing this shit?"

He quirked a brow, "What do you mean?"

"Well dumbass," she said in a matter-of-fact tone, "I'm not a sex toy for a quick bone."

"You're so uptight…if you catch my drift." he rubbed against her suggestively.

"I'm not a walking pussy, cunt!"

Chris rolled his eyes, "We've already established that."

She growled, "We're fucking enemies! Our dads hated each other!"

Chris yawned, "Noted. And I spent a good portion of my life trying to please an unpleasable father. But your daddy loved you and whatnot, and you managed to please him. Lucky you."

"You make no sense. Quit bitching."

"There is a reason for it, I don't want to be a fucking douche like my dad. Charity parties and getting wasted every once in a while is what rich kids are supposed to do. So I am."

"And Red Mist, or The Motherfucker?" she asked after a few moments.

"He's still out there." he said with a smirk.

"Why? You still leading that drug cartel?"

"Hell no, god, what part of I don't want to be a fucking douche like my dad, don't you get? Shut down the operations, and all the drug leaders have gotten into 'accidents'."

Mindy smiled evilly, she took the bastards down without telling Dave or Marcus, they were a bit pissed but relieved. "You do realize without my dad's drug cartel others are going to rise up?"

Mindy turned to face him and cracked her knuckles, "Taking names, killing bitches."

Chris leaned against the wall crossing his arms, "So, you going to kill me?"

Mindy reached into his pocket, and they locked eyes with each other, she grabbed what she wanted and pulled it out. She waved her phone in his face, "Depends, you gonna be a bad guy? Or are you finally going to be like Batman?"

"Hmm, rich boy gone vigilante, I'd have to change my costume….but maybe."

Mindy smirked, "Hopefully you don't suck."

"Speaking of sucking," he quirked a brow, "How about we finish what we started?"

Mindy stepped back, "How about, no, not ever. Like I told you before, you were just sexual release. Too bad, so sad."

He rolled his eyes, "You don't know what kind of pussy treatment you're missing out on."

"Yeah right." Crossing her arms, she rolled her eyes.

"You'll wish you had." he waggled his brows.

She walked off, "Yeah yeah, see you around dick wad."

He grabbed her arm, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Hey shit for brains, unlike you, some of us have to work in the morning." Mindy shoved his hand off her arm.

Chris checked his watch, "It's only eleven thirty."

She made a face, "My shift starts at nine, dumbass."

"You have plenty of time." he tempted.

Mindy rolled her eyes, "Fuck that, I'm getting some sleep. Stupid customers, always try to grab the mic, it's not karaoke."

Chris raised a brow, "Where the hell do you work?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Mindy smirked.

"Well I asked."

Mindy shrugged, "Oh, well, you know, I'm a stripper."

His eyes bulged a bit, and he snorted as he appraised her, "Really?"

"No dumbass, I'm a waitress.."

Chris nearly laughed, but instead grinned, "Hard to believe you're a killer vigilante by night and a waitress by day."

"Hey they make us sing too."

"Seriously? Haha, I would've laughed if you worked at Hooters or some shit."

"Same to you." she walked off in annoyance, and Chris called after her, "What's the restaurant?"

She shrugged, "Some gay name, Cubicle Club I think."

He smirked, "I'll stop by some time."

"Oh hell no!" she stomped back towards him, "No you aren't! I don't want you to be anywhere near me if I have to sing."

He laughed and swatted her ass, "Don't worry about it."

"Touch my ass again D'Amico and I'll give you something to worry about." she threatened.

He backed away, hands up in defense, "I'll stop by." winking he joined the crowd.

"Fine, stop by, more money for me."

Chris turned and laughed, "Now now, I think I should ask one more time, you sure you don't want to have an after party?"

"I'm not a whore you pick up for a one night stand, go fuck some wasted chick."

"Nah, I like the ones that play hard to get, but I'm going to laugh when you want me pumping in and out of you. You'll want me." he made his final turn and disappeared.

* * *

Mindy left and grabbed her stuff, when she reached the car, she was greeted by Marcus in the driver seat. She slammed the door shut, "At least you're here. I was hoping I wouldn't have to look for you."

Marcus smiled, twisting the ignition, "Yeah yeah," after a few minutes of driving in silence, Marcus spoke up, "So…"

Mindy didn't even turn her head from the window, "'So'? What?"

Marcus shrugged, "Oh, I dunno, I mean it just looked like you were getting a bit cozy with D'Amico…"

Mindy face palmed, and Marcus gave her a knowing look, "That's like a mortal sin, in your dad's book."

Mindy snapped surprisingly, "Well I'm not my dad!" after a few seconds pause she added, "Besides, I don't even like D'Amico."

Marcus rolled his eyes, "Right."

"I don't!" she countered defensively.

The sergeant smirked, and turned to see the oncoming traffic, "Mhmm..I'll bet."

Mindy crossed her arms and huffed in defiance, "Whatever."

"How about the picture?" Marcus asked.

She shrugged, "D'Amico says he stopped his dad's cartel-"

"Actions speak louder than words." Marcus stated, turning the wheel.

"Which is why Hit Girl should probably verify his words." she attempted to coax, a smile stretching on her face.

"No way! Uh-uh! You have work in the morning, I don't want you drinking the customer's coffee again." He accelerated towards the yellow light, but it flashed red before he made it.

Mindy pouted, "Fine."

"I mean it Mindy, don't make me bar the windows again." Marcus warned, he shifted gears, and narrowed his eyes at her.

Mindy sighed, "Yes sir."

Marcus smiled, "Good." he turned his attention back to the road, and began to accelerate towards their street.

"So did you see Dave? Or what's-her-face?" she asked nonchalantly.

Marcus cut the wheel again, they slowly made their way down their street, "Yeah, Dave saw you with D'Amico, and asked if we should interrupt. I let it slide. And the girl's name is Katie, and no."

"I don't like her." Mindy said truthfully, albeit bluntly, "Something just seems fake. I just want to punch her in the face and get some real looking emotion. I mean, come on! She thought Dave was gay, when he had a crush on her! A-list bitch in my book."

Marcus laughed and nodded, he parked the car. "Okay, we all have our opinions. Straight to bed, you understand?"

"You know I'm eighteen right?" she reminded.

"Straight to bed." he repeated.

"Yes sir." Mindy mock saluted.

* * *

**A/N:** 'Sup guys. Uh, I'll have updates eventually. You all know the routine by now. I'll start something. Get a few updates in...leaving you hanging for a while then eventually pop back up again...with a different plot for a different story...I'm so unreliable. Anyway!

I actually didn't get this story idea from Kick-Ass (love that movie), I got it from watching commercials for Movie 43 (Wanna see that so fricking bad!). Well the actors who play as Mindy and Chris, are in that movie and the clip they showed was just funny...I had to write something!

_Chris' character: "Oh my god! She's having her period!"  
Chloe's character: "What do I do?!"  
Chris' character: "We gotta plug it up somehow! *runs into a closet retrieves a swiffer mop* I got this pad on a stick!"  
Chloe's character: "This can't be happening!"_

So...um yeah...


	2. Chapter 2

**Like Joker and Harley Quinn**

**Disclaimer:** I don't make cool characters...I just kind of toggle with them in my own twisted stories...so hell no! I don't own Kick-Ass! ...It's just too 'kick-ass' for me to own...*cries*

* * *

Mindy locked her bedroom door, she sat in her creaky chair and logged into her mySpace account. Mindy MacReady had new messages, one from that creepy guy, never felt the need to remember who he was, but she opened his message.

_Movies tomorrow. Triple date?_

She quickly responded with an excuse, and resumed scrolling though the messages. One was from Chris D'Amico. Hit Girl had so many "friends" and "followers", same with Red Mist/The Motherfucker, and Kick Ass, even Big Daddy's memorial page had a lot.

The only reason Mindy could think of why Chris had so many female "friends" was because of his wealth or parties. _"He's less of an awkward dweeb, overly-cocky though…heh cocky…oh god, I'm getting Dad's humor…"_ she shrugged, and clicked open his message.

_Found the place. I'll stop in tomorrow._

Mindy sighed, and typed furiously.

_Creep. Why the fuck are you so interested in my job?_

She sat back in her chair, and sent it. After a few minutes of brooding he responded back.

_Well then. Any who, am I the only who thinks this is like Mary Jane from Spiderman? She had a job just like that…and you call me creepy._

Mindy face palmed.

_Whatever dickwad. Go jerk off to your nerdy ass comics._

He responded about ten minutes later.

_You're a dirty girl, you know that? Well, I figured you would've left by now, disobeying Marcus, and attempting to figure out my motives, you know?_

Mindy growled.

_You're a cocky son of bitch, you know that? Well, I figured you would've been more of a host, a better villain, and make a cooler costume, you know?_

As she read his response five minutes later, she could practically hear him smirking, and one does not simply…_hear_ one smirk.

_Bitchy today, huh? Did your boyfriend just dump you? Ah well, open your goddamn window, Jesus._

Mindy's eyes widened and she quickly spun around. She saw The Motherfucker's elaborate orange getup, he was leaning casually against the fire escape. He crossed his arms, and she could sense he was smirking.

She opened the window, and he stepped in.

"'Sup babe, miss me?" he greeted.

Mindy rolled her eyes, and put a finger to her mouth, "Shh, Marcus is still up, and I'm not your babe." and then she pretended to gag, sticking her index finger into her mouth mockingly.

Chris narrowed his eyes, and crossed his arms. He made quick strides to her computer, and clicked on the other message.

_Oh well, maybe next time?_

Mindy slapped him and turned her computer monitor off. "The hell man, that's none of your business."

Chris shrugged, "So you're his babe?"

She rubbed her temples, "God no, that's Dave's friend. How the hell did you even find me?"

Chris stood and walked to face the window, "Simple, I placed a tracker on you when we were all touchy feely."

Mindy scoffed, "Doubt that. I would've known, dumbass."

He waved a hand in dismissal, "God woman, your nicknames are rude. I call you something nice, like 'babe' and you're like, 'cocksucker' and 'dumbass', what the fuck."

He turned away, and she ripped his mask off, "Hey!"

She silenced him with a kiss, "I thought I told you, shh."

He whispered, "Give me my mask. It totally ruins the whole vibe."

Mindy pulled him against herself and kissed him roughly, "Oh well."

They had a brief make out session, and Chris spoke up, "But still, can't you call me something nicer, like something hot."

She smiled, "You're a cocky bastard."

Chris flicked his tongue in her mouth as they kissed, he pulled away, "You seem to mention cocks a lot."

"That's not an invitation."

"Damn. Shot down." he mocked, and snapped his fingers.

Mindy shoved him away, crossing her arms, "Why the hell are you here, fucktard?"

He sighed overdramatically, "God woman, you use me, you know that? I'm just at your disposal for sex and then you're all like, 'What's your plan? I'm going to kill you tomorrow.' Like I would tell you."

Mindy snorted, "Listen dumbass, you've had six years head start, literally, for sex. I'm taking my time, dabbling here and there. And you know I have my ways."

Chris scoffed, "Pfft, right. And you know I've had my fair share of getting around, it's in the paper. I'm like Bruce Wayne, minus the vigilante night life. And you call tonguing your 'enemy' taking your time? Who the hell did you sleep with?"

He quirked his brow expectantly, and she raised her chin, "Wouldn't you like to know, little horny bastard. Besides, I do have my ways…" she walked her fingers up his chest plate, "I could show up at your condo…in a school girl outfit…sprawled on your bed…and practically begging for you to fuck me."

Chris looked off in the distance, a content smirk on his face as he nodded, "Yeah…so seduction is your thing, huh? Well you could try…"

He gave her a half cocky, half thoughtful look, and she narrowed her eyes, "Oh, there is no trying about it. I'll get what I want, Motherfucker."

He raised a finger, correcting her, "_The_ Motherfucker, can't forget that 'the', and I fuck those who ask, except dudes. So, if there's already another woman in my bed when you get there, don't worry about it."

Mindy was about to retort, when she heard footsteps coming closer. She quickly shoved Chris into her walk-in closet, she closed him in just as Marcus knocked.

"Mindy? You okay in there? Is someone else here?"

"Don't come in! I'm changing! I'm just watching some vids on Youtube, fights and stuff.." she quickly unzipped her dress, to convince Marcus of her alibi.

"Alright, I'm warming up the leftover pizza, how many slices you want?"

"Three." she peeled the red gown from her body, and Chris watched in amusement. Marcus told her he'd be back and walked to the kitchen. Mindy opened the closet and Chris nearly collapsed, in laughter and whatnot. She shoved him out of the closet, as he eyed her up and down.

"Mmm mmm…I don't know if pizza is too appetizing anymore." his eyes trailed from her lace bra to her matching panties, "I do love the color, red and black really is my thing."

"Shut it fuck face, jerk off when you get home." she closed the closet doors behind her and changed inside the safety of the closet.

He leaned against the door, and surprised her, "Yeah, maybe I will."

Mindy rolled her eyes, "You're such an old pervert."

Chris crossed his arms and smirked, "Absolutely, twenty-four is definitely considered old for people in this society."

She scoffed, "It's like being middle aged if you're a Playboy bunny."

Chris asked her amusedly, "Oh my god, did you see them at the party?! Damn those girls were so wasted…should've took them upstairs."

For whatever reason, those comments made Mindy's blood boil, she ripped the doors open, and she was dressed in her improved Hit Girl costume. She had slightly longer purple hair, and her suit was adjusted for her grown body, although she lost the black leggings with her original costume, "Just like how you wanted to take me upstairs?"

"Oh, come on!" he joked, he eyed her costume up and down, "I would've taken you up after I was done with them.."

She brushed her arm, "No thanks. I don't like sloppy seconds."

They heard Marcus' footsteps once more, and Chris rolled his eyes, "Speaking of sloppy seconds, here comes your leftover pizza."

Marcus knocked, "Hey, I'm heading to bed, come get your pizza before it gets cold again."

Mindy thanked him, "'Night."

"'Night." Marcus' footsteps faded down the hall.

Chris pulled the door open and grabbed the pizza. Mindy rolled her eyes, "You're lucky two of them were for you anyway."

Chris smiled, his cheeks extra puffy from the food, "Whoo-hoo food!"

As they finished their food, he spoke up, "You know what I love about this mask?"

Mindy nibbled on the last of her crust, and responded coolly, "It hides your ugliness?"

Chris smirked, "Absolutely, I mean, if I'm so ugly and yet I'm the only person you've ever made-out with, what does that say about you?"

Mindy smirked back, "I'm a gold digger."

He laughed, "Good one. Anyway, I don't have to shave, like Chris could have facial hair, like a kick ass-"

"No..not like Kick Ass, Dave is a nerd…and I'm not a big fan of the facial hair."

"Now wait," he raised his hands, "I wasn't finished, something really _bad _ass, kinda like Tony Stark. Oh yeah, _das beard_." he looked off in the distance, and had that same expression.

Mindy grabbed his chin, with an ungloved hand, and turned his head back and forth. He eyed her with suspicion, "What?"

She shrugged and continued to turn his head, "I can feel the stubble…"

"You don't say!" he mocked, "I shaved yesterday morning, so.."

Mindy retracted her hand, and posed thoughtfully, "Eh, I could kind of see it…you might be able to pull it off."

"Well then. It's settled." he clapped his hands together, "I even got a woman's approval."

She rolled her eyes, "Alright, dickwad take me to the place."

"Yeah yeah," he stood up and pulled his mask on, "We need to work on these pet names. You don't like being complimented, and I don't want to be called a cocksucker."

Mindy stood and wrapped her mask on, "Sure whatever, can we get moving?"

He handed Mindy her other glove, "Right this way, m'lady." he stood aside of the window, and gestured to it.

She rolled her eyes, "Now you're starting to sound like a dweeb again."

Chris smirked at her, "Well, that proves my hypothesis right, Mindy MacReady digs bad boys."

They climbed out of her window, "I wouldn't call you a bad boy, until you can actually defend yourself in combat, without douche minions, or be clinically insane like The Joker."

He snorted, "If I'm going to be The Joker, I'm going to need a Harley Quinn, and you, are going to end up just like her."

Mindy turned around and crossed her arms, "I highly doubt that-"

Chris shrugged, "Well, she spent so much time with him, she became obsessed," he wiggled his fingers like it was a spooky story, "Then she like 'loved' him and totally became his bitch. Might I add, she fights more than he does, you fight more than me, and she likes dressing like a school girl too! And Joker totally uses cronies!"

Mindy face palmed, "That was such a nerd overload, you are so lucky I read like every Batman comic," she placed her hands on her hips, and he crossed his arms with a smirk, "Listen here you Motherfucker-"

"_The_."

"Whatever! You're rich like Bruce Wayne, but you dress up in leather to be a villain instead of a vigilante. That makes you a douche."

Chris laughed, "Bitch please. Bruce Wayne was like _old_, when he started his gig."

She flipped her hair back over her shoulder, "Anyway, Bruce Wayne totally hooked up with Selina Kyle."

"Seriously? There is like fifty different continuation plot lines! There's one where he hooks up with Talia, and she is like a bitch!" he argued.

Mindy put a hand to his face, "Well, I like the Selina plot better."

"She was a thief." he swatted her hand away from his face.

"Catwoman totally wanted Batman, then when she was Selina Kyle, she was with Bruce Wayne."

"Yeah, but they didn't like it as much as their alter egos!"

Mindy crossed her arms, her chin in the air, she huffed, "Whatever!"

Chris spoke up after a few moments, "Did we seriously just have an argument…over comic books…?" she nodded, and slowly uncrossed her arms, he continued, "You know, the more I think about this, the more I think you're more like Bat Girl, she was all about kicking ass, and her daddy was a cop."

She laughed, "You are _so_ not a Nightwing."

He narrowed his eyes, "What?! I am totally a Nightwing! Like, my dad was killed, and I'm mad rich. I've got a costume, and I'm screwing around with Bat Girl."

Mindy pushed past him, "Or Huntress, or any of those other bitches."

Chris grabbed her arm, "But I'm pretty sure he ended up with Barbara."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, in one continuation. There's one where he has a kid with what's-her-face, Huntress, and in this continuation he only proposes after Barbara's cured of her paralysis! Then she was all like, 'No, I think you need to go on a journey to find yourself, then when you come back we can totally be together!'" she scowled, and Chris snorted at her impersonation.

"Yeah…well I guess I'm just going to, uh, be Joker. And you can be Harley Quinn, kay?"

Mindy rolled her eyes, "Whatever. We better get moving before Marcus comes and checks up on the noise."

Chris pulled out the keys to his Mist Mobile, he clicked the unlock button, and the blip noise was heard from below. He stepped out on the railing, facing her he jumped. Mindy rushed to the rail to see him land in the Mustang, and twist the ignition.

She let out a sigh of relief, and jumped down into the adjacent seat, he grinned at her, "Gotta love sun roofs."

"Sure." she said, buckling up. Chris closed the roof, and cut the wheel speeding them into the city. Mindy examined the interior, black, leather, kind of like his suit. The outside had a paint job, the red was replaced with a dark orange, matching his new outfit.

"I like the car." she said, nodding in appreciation. He smirked as his ego was boosted, she turned on the radio, and a bunch of shit music came on.

Her face scrunched in disgust, "The fuck is that shit?!"

Chris shrugged, and pushed in a CD, "How the hell should I know?"

Mindy gaped at him, "Aren't you the only one who drives this thing?!"

He gave her a sidelong glance, "Duh. I just haven't listened to the radio in like months, I've been getting more into the music business, you know, in case you haven't kept up with me in the papers. So I have been listening to mixed tapes and shit…"

She pressed play, "In conclusion, hopefully this tape has better music."

The Prodigy started to blare through the speakers, the bass was pounding. Mindy skipped the track, as much as she liked the song, the next song sounded familiar.

_I can't see where you coming fro-om…but I know just what you running fro-om…and what matters ain't who's baddest…_

The man had a smooth low voice, and she couldn't help but smile at the song. Chris looked at her, she seemed to be enjoying herself, "See, you like it."

Mindy looked him in the eye, and then quickly skipped the track, but Chris changed it back. Mindy shrugged and stared out the window and listened to the song.

_Well I love you like the way I love ya…and I suffer but I ain't gonna cut ya 'cus…_

Now the chorus, Mindy really started to like.

_This ain't no place for no hero…this ain't no place for no..better ma-an. This ain't no place for no hero, to call ho-ome…_

When the song ended, Chris cut the wheel into a warehouse, and turned off the car. He pulled the keys out and shoved them in his pocket. He turned to Mindy, who was looking at him expectantly, "So, do you know what song that was?"

Mindy swayed her head from side to side, "It sounded familiar."

They unbuckled themselves, and Chris asked, "Well, you ever see those commercials for Arkham City, from a couple years back?"

Her face lit up, "Oh! Yeah, I have that game, I knew I heard it somewhere."

Chris unlocked the doors, and stepped out, "Well, yeah. That's where it's from."

Mindy stepped out and observed the new surroundings. A spacious warehouse, well decommissioned factory. The large glass windows, a few had cracks and holes from punks. She looked up, instinctively grabbing her butterfly knife, there was at least three stories to this place, her guess was five. Chris slammed the car doors shut, and saw she had her blade out.

"Jesus Christ, woman. You don't need that." he said, exasperatedly.

Mindy shrugged, before spinning it closed, and hooking it back on her belt, "Old habits, die hard."

Chris pulled off his mask, and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Yeah, okay. Lucky you. I just don't want to be stabbed."

"Would you prefer being cut?" she offered, teasingly.

He narrowed his eyes, and retorted sarcastically, "Nah, I'd rather be diced."

She flipped her hair back, "Well, where the hell are we?"

Chris placed his hand on the small of her back and ushered her towards the only lit area of the building. She tensed at his hand, but walked it off. When they reached the destination, it was a small table, lit by a candelabra. There were two platters.

As Mindy stood there in awe, and confusion, she removed her mask. Chris stood in front of the table, and spread his arms, "Ta-da!"

Mindy walked over, and whispered, "Oh my god.."

Chris crossed his arms and smirked, "Well, so, this is kind of the reason why my messages were kind of lagging."

Mindy quirked a brow, "Okay fuckface, what is all this?"

He pulled out her seat, and gestured her to sit down, she did so warily.

When he was seated he answered, "Well, you wanted to know what I was up to, right?"

Mindy crossed her arms, "Yeah, but you already told me…" she reached for her butterfly knife, "…didn't you?"

Chris shrugged, "Half-truth. Really."

"You bitch!" she seethed.

He rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, uh, still not digging the pet names."

She darted out of her chair and tackled him to the ground, her knife was at his neck. He kicked the chair away, in hopes of not damaging the table set, he then laced his fingers and rested his hands behind his head. Mindy breathed heavily, her blade, so close to cutting his jugular.

He smirked up at her, "Do it."

Mindy narrowed her eyes, "Don't tempt me D'Amico."

Chris tried to shrug, "Why do you care, huh? You're supposed to hate me…you're supposed to kill me if you get the chance. You've had at least twenty chances tonight."

She sat up in a straddled position around his waist, and wiped her nose, "I don't know. Usually I would, I could kill you in fifty ways right now…maybe I'm just hoping you'll do something else. Draw this 'fight' out. If you're going to die right now, die fighting."

Chris sighed, "Oh come on. Don't get sentimental. You yourself said that I was sexual release-"

Mindy gripped his collar, tugging him closer to her face, and shrieked, "I never said I didn't care!"

Chris' eyes widened, her grip loosened bit by bit as her breathing slowed down. Mindy covered her mouth, as if she was trying to take back what she had just said, Chris slammed back on the ground. He rubbed the back of his head, _Well, that was like an atomic drama bomb…_

He returned his hands to their original position, and Mindy had her knife back at his throat. She squeezed her eyes shut, stalling, but as she took her breath to strike he stole her knife. Chris tossed it away, and Mindy recovered and was about to throw punches to his face, but he grabbed her wrists and switched positions by shoving her backwards.

All her air whooshed out of her lungs, and they both breathed heavily. They were back in that familiar position of being aligned against one another. Mindy looked up in his eyes, she tried to glare, but it weakened and she just turned her head.

She was squirming, "Get off me! Get off! Get off! Get off! Goddamn it! Get the fuck off of me!"

Chris shook his head, "Would you listen! Just shut up!"

Mindy snarled, "Fuck you, D'Amico!"

Chris forcefully kissed her, she resisted but melted into it. He felt her muscles relax, and he released his grip on her wrists. Her hands ran through his hair, massaging his scalp. He rested his hands on her waist. As much as he wanted to explore her body, he didn't want to piss her off.

Mindy released him from the kiss, and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tight. Chris wrapped his arms around her waist, and listened to her as she whispered into his ear, "I can't do it…Dad would be so pissed. I can't kill you."

Chris whispered back, "Try. You could do it right now…suffocate me."

Mindy glared at him and tried to shove him off, "You're sadistic, you know that? Fucking asshole, I never said I liked you, I just said I cared."

Chris rested on his forearms, and looked down at her, she looked so infuriated. He knew she had just given him the perfect blackmail information, the whole spilling her guts out to him. She was being one hundred percent serious, Mindy MacReady, the Hit Girl couldn't bring herself to kill enemy numero uno.

He quirked his brow and smirked, "But…you do want me, right?"

Mindy shoved him backwards like he did to her earlier, "That's it!" she shook him by the collar, he gripped her hands, and stopped her.

"Jesus Christ, woman!" he shook his head, "Like seriously! Why the hell are you keeping me alive?"

Mindy shrugged, "Maybe I live for the chase you know? I'm not really into the whole 'for a greater good' shit, it's for the rush of adrenaline, the thrill of it all. It's fun to kick ass."

"So, you mean to tell me, this entire time, all these years. You didn't kill me because you get kicks from it?" he snorted incredulously.

Mindy slapped him, "If you're going to laugh, you shouldn't have asked. Would you rather be dead?"

Chris felt his reddened cheek, and narrowed his eyes at her, "Would you rather know what I have been up to?"

Mindy attempted to stand up, but Chris pulled her back down, "You didn't answer me."

She tugged at his grip, "Yes, I do want to know."

Chris stood up, pulling Mindy up in the process, he walked her back to her seat, and removed the cover off her platter. She stared at it, just a simple hamburger. Well with the toppings neatly arranged around it in a perfected decoration, she carefully selected what she wanted. Across the table, Chris was doing the same.

She took a massive bite out of the burger, and set it down. She chewed slowly, carefully choosing her words, and swallowed.

"Now, what the fuck have you been doing?"

Chris was in the middle of biting his burger, and looked up at her. She crossed her arms and smirked at how much of a dumbass he resembled.

He chewed and swallowed, "Take a guess."

Mindy refrained from slamming her fist on the table, "Tell me now damn it!"

Chris looked her in the eye, "I still have the cartel."

* * *

**A/N: **I don't know about you guys, but if I wasn't the author, I'd have a hunch he was still 'up to no good. Started makin' trouble in mah neighborhood.' No? Yeah, my jokes suck. Anyway, I'm unreliable with updates...as like people from years ago have discovered. Heh...heh...

If I get inspiration, I'll write. As of now, Chloe Moretz and Chris Mintz-Plasse are my muses. He so adorable, and she's so cool! I swear if they don't date three years from now, I will cry. I will. (._.) - see that. That my fellow readers, is a whale. You do not want to see the whale cry. You will feel bad..forever..and ever.

(~_~) - #sadwhaleissad.

By the way. No reviews? Oh come on. Admit it, we all want to see a tiny bit of Hit-Girl/Red Mist action.


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